Joel's Story: Finding His Way Home

Joel was born in Cleveland, Ohio, but his journey took him across the country. At five years old, he moved to Chicago, where he lived until he was fifteen before relocating to Philadelphia. By eighteen, he was constantly on the move, bouncing between New York, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Boston, and back to Cleveland.

As the son of a pastor and a mother who was both a teacher and an artist, Joel grew up immersed in the church. However, for most of his life, he rejected faith.

In his late teens and early twenties, he turned to weed and alcohol as a way to create "positive feelings." At the time, he saw them as a solution rather than a problem—until he realized they had become the problem. That moment of clarity didn’t come until he was 30 when he woke up one morning in Los Angeles, unable to count the empty bottles scattered around his bedroom. Maybe there’s an issue here, he thought. Determined to take control, he quit drinking for 90 days, felt accomplished, but eventually slipped back into old habits with friends.

Between the ages of 30 and 35, Joel found himself trapped in a relentless cycle of sobriety and relapse, repeatedly damaging relationships along the way. The turning point came when he woke up after passing out on the streets of Los Angeles. Determined to change, he moved to Boston with a friend and entered rehab. However, he soon realized that living with his friend wasn’t the supportive environment he needed to maintain sobriety. Seeking a true fresh start, he moved back home to Cleveland, where he remained sober for a year or two, until he entered a relationship where occasional drinking seemed harmless.

It all began to unravel during a vacation. “It’s just vacation—drinking more is okay,” he told himself. But one trip turned into another, each one an excuse to drink a little more. Before he knew it, the pattern had taken hold—more vacations, more justifications, and more drinking. He found himself trapped in the same destructive cycle, longing for stability and a deeper connection with God.

Then, about 36 years old, everything seemed to click. He started learning more about himself, facing who he truly was instead of creating a character for others to witness. He became more connected with the Spirit. He also pursued classes to become a personal trainer and nutritionist. He was two years clean but then “slipped up” and got a DWI. Determined to move forward, he stayed sober for another year and a half to two years before deciding to return to Phoenix for a fresh start.

When Joel moved to Phoenix in the summer of 2023, he initially lived out of his car, calling it “car camping” as he traveled across the country. By the fall of 2023, he moved in with someone who was a closet alcoholic. At first, he stayed strong, even trying to support them, but before long, he found himself drinking again. One morning, he woke up after suffering a grand mal seizure. Determined to quit, he attempted to stop on his own, but within two weeks, his drinking escalated from a pint to a gallon of alcohol. Then, one morning, he woke up barely remembering that he had gotten another DUI the night before.

He knew he needed to leave this environment. As he drove around town, he noticed a church sign that read, “Text us, and we will pray for you.” Desperate for change, he reached out. They prayed for him, but then asked, what else can we do for you?

Joel told them he needed a place to live. They offered to put him in a hotel, but he knew he needed something more stable and long-term. That’s when they referred him to House of Refuge Sunnyslope (HRS). He made the call and came in for an intake. From the moment he arrived, he felt an overwhelming sense of nonjudgmental love.

At first, his initial thought was, “Do I have to listen to Jesus again?” He called his dad, who asked him, do you feel called to be there? And Joel realized that he actually did. His second reaction to being at HRS was that it was a blessing.  It was an opportunity to have stability and support.

At HRS, Joel embraced the program with an open heart and mind. He was receptive to Bible studies, mentorship, and the wisdom shared by others, even when perspectives differed. He formed a strong connection with Ron, who led Celebrate Recovery, and found great value in the one-on-one Bible studies offered in the houses. The accountability built into the program was something he deeply appreciated, and he made a firm decision to see it through to completion.

Beyond the spiritual growth, Joel found a sense of brotherhood among the men in the program. Some left early, saying it was too much, but he challenged that mindset. “If this program is too much for you, you’re taking that same energy to the next place. You must complete it.” He believed in embracing the process, saying, “You can’t think about work while on vacation, and you can’t think about vacation while at work. You have to find joy in the journey.”

After six months at HRS, Joel fully committed to the experience and knew he would finish strong. If he could offer advice to someone just starting the program, he would say, “Don’t hesitate. Whatever challenges you face at HRS, the growth you will experience will be worth it.”

As Joel successfully graduates from HRS and moves forward, he reflects on the growth and transformation he has experienced. He is most proud of building a healthy relationship outside of HRS, where he now is a spiritual leader, something that once seemed unattainable. He is also stepping into the next chapter of his life with financial stability, a testament to the discipline and perseverance he developed throughout the program.

Looking ahead, Joel feels the stage is calling his name, with plans to move back to New York or California to pursue new opportunities. But no matter where life takes him, he carries with him the lessons, faith, and strength he gained at HRS.

The program gave him more than just stability, it offered him a second chance and a new opportunity in life. And while his journey has been filled with struggles and setbacks, Joel is deeply grateful for every step that led him here. In the end, he found God at his own pace, and now, with renewed purpose, he moves forward with confidence and faith.