Finding a New Path Foward

Before Juan ever walked onto the House of Refuge Sunnyslope campus, his life looked stable on the outside, but inside he felt stuck and divided.

He had been in an eight year relationship with a woman he had known since childhood. “I’ve known her since we were kids from elementary all the way to high school,” he said. They lived together for most of those years, but there were ongoing complications and a growing sense that things were not moving toward a healthy future. Juan described being raised in a Christian home and having a Christian background, yet at the time he was not living anchored in that foundation. “I wasn’t in church at the time. I was a backslider, smoking and drinking here and there,” he admitted.

He had worked hard to build a different life than the one he came from. “I grew up in a gang related environment,” he explained, and he made a choice to distance himself from that world. “I basically distanced myself from everybody because I wanted a different lifestyle. Almost 50 years old, I just wanted a whole different environment.”

Even when he and his girlfriend began going to church and participating in Bible studies, the relationship continued to strain. “We were always bumping heads,” he said. A turning point came in a moment of grief right after his father passed away. Instead of feeling supported, Juan felt alone in his pain. “The same day I expected her to at least hang around with me,” he said.

That day he prayed a simple and honest prayer. “I asked the Lord, ‘If this is not for me, then just get me out of this situation. I feel trapped here. I have nowhere to go.’”

Two days in a row he prayed. Then he acted.

“When she left to work one day, I packed up and left,” Juan said. “Without knowing where I was going to end up or where I was going to go.” The only person he called was his oldest son. “I’m on the road right now,” he told him. “I’m leaving there.” When his son asked where he was going, Juan answered with the only thing he could. “As of right now, I don’t know. I’m just giving it up to God’s hands.”

That first night, the weight of it all hit him. He described trying to clear his mind but feeling anxious and nervous. “What did I just do now?” he remembered thinking. “I’m sorry, God,” he said, trying to settle his heart.

He ended up at his ex wife’s home, his son’s mother, where his grandkids ran to him with excitement. He was grateful for a place to sleep, but he knew he could not stay. “The whole time they wanted to be playing games,” he said. “But at the same time I knew what I had to do was get on that phone and start looking for places to go.”

In the early morning hours he started searching again, and that is when the answer came. “The first number that popped up was this place,” he said. Juan remembered a friend who had once been in the program and posted pictures that stayed with him. “That picture every time I see it reminded me of him. It’s like the Lord used him. The Lord was planning this out.”

Juan called, and the door opened quickly. “Mike Baker answered,” he said. “He goes, ‘If you can be here at this certain time, I got a room available.’” Juan did not overthink it. “I’ll see you shortly,” he replied, and he came.

When Juan arrived at HRS, the real struggle began. Not because he regretted the choice, but because he realized how much growth he still needed.

“I went from being okay financially and stable, and it just was so hard here,” he said. He had used marijuana daily for most of his life. “I’ve been doing that since I was like 15 or 16 years old,” he shared. But at HRS, that chapter ended. “Almost two years. It was the first time my mom has ever seen me sober. She has never seen me sober.”

The transition was not easy. Juan was honest about that. “I asked the Lord, ‘Why does it have to be so hard when I asked you to put me in this position to do the right thing?’” he said. But he came to see that the hardship was not punishment. It was formation. “It was all growth. There was a lot of growing up I had to do and I learned here.”

He learned that love does not always feel soft in the moment. “The staff was tough, but it was all under love. Tough love,” he explained. “They were shaping me into a person that I needed to be. Here I am thinking I was the man that I was, and I was not even close to that.”

One of the biggest changes for Juan was learning humility and self control. “I had to humble myself here,” he said. “There were a couple of times I just wanted to speak my mind. Then I would say, ‘Lord, no, I’m not going to do that.’” He knew one reaction could undo what God was building. “Sometimes you are not going to be able to take that back or come back from that.”

Juan also had to learn how to let people in. He was not used to trust, community, or vulnerability. “I was so closed in that I didn’t give anybody a chance to know who I was,” he said. “I kept my life private. Vulnerability felt like weakness, and it was a pride thing.” Even mentors who were trying to encourage him initially felt intrusive. “To me, they were just nosy, wanting to get into your business,” he admitted.

But over time, God softened those places.

Juan described a turning point when he found the kind of Bible study his soul had been craving, one that was centered fully on Scripture, not debate or opinions. “I wasn’t being fed,” he said about the Bible study he first attended. So he asked for another option and joined a study led by Chris Durkin.

“That was home to me right there,” Juan said. “From day one it has been Bible, Bible, Bible.” He loved how the Word was opened carefully and explained. “He breaks every verse down, and we are all getting fed.”

As Juan stayed faithful to the process, he began to see the program for what it was, a place where structure protects growth. “The rules are tough, but it’s for a reason,” he said. “This program just has a little more structure.”

When asked what he was most proud of, Juan did not point to a single achievement. He pointed to surrender. “Staying here, sticking with the program, and letting the Lord have His way with my life,” he said. “I allowed Him to move in me because I’ve always been in control of my whole life, and I’ve always made a mess of it.”

Even when the process felt gritty, Juan could see the purpose. “I let Him drag me through it,” he said. “But I realized what He was doing. I have no intention of going backwards.”

Now Juan is stepping into what comes next with confidence and clarity.

He recently found a housing plan using an app for sober roommate living. “I found out about this app called PadSplit,” he said. He liked that it provided structure similar to what he learned at HRS with codes for access, clear rules, and options that fit a budget. “You just pick a location and it will give you a list. Then you choose a room that fits your budget.”

He is also working steadily and building momentum. He shared that he works in Peoria and takes pride in being in a better environment. “Everybody was so happy,” he said about his workplace. “So that means I’m back there in a much happier environment.” He is committed to continuing the habits that are rebuilding his life. “When I’m just left alone I put on my music, my Christian podcast, or I’m watching different pastors.”

When Juan speaks about the future, he does not sound like someone guessing. He sounds like someone who has been carried.

“He had His hands in all of this from day one,” Juan said. “He’s never left me stranded. He’s never left me alone.”

When asked what has changed most because of HRS, he did not hesitate. “I know I can trust in the Lord,” he said. “Because He put me through the test where I had nobody else to turn to but Him. He showed me the way. He showed me that His word doesn’t come back void.”

What makes HRS different, Juan explained, is the closeness, the accountability, and the relationships. “Here you’re actually doing a one on one,” he said. “Then you’ve got these mentors all over. I was not used to that.” Now he sees it as one of God’s greatest gifts to him, something he plans to carry forward. “The community. Oh yes, that is number one,” he said.

Looking ahead, he is firm. “Nothing’s going to change.”

Juan’s story is not just about leaving something behind. It is about becoming someone new. A man who has learned to surrender, stay, and trust God through the hard parts, and who is walking forward with a steadier heart, a stronger faith, and a future he is no longer afraid to build.